Follow Up

Lord Malignance, it’s difficult to address your questions 100% because I’m still figuring out some of the details and, even when I know what my personal goals are, I’ll have to negotiate them with other people because I don’t intend to act alone or “take charge” of a group of people.  I’m planning for collaboration.  Anyway, I have two years, more or less, until military retirement… so I’m on a timeline, but I have time to deal with these things.

There are a handful of reasons I’m going to Los Angeles – one is that violent crimes occur there on a daily basis.  I realize that’s kind of a nutjob thing to find “attractive,” but it means there are real people who could genuinely use help.  Another is that Hollywood is a magnet for people who want to break into the film industry and end up working in food service and such because almost no one actually breaks into the traditional film industry.  But these people have professional skills… lots of people in various fields have unused professional level skills.  I see it as rich with potential for collaborating along the lines of what I personally want this whole “superhero thing” to become.

One of the things I don’t want it to become is me dead in an alley somewhere because I was so dedicated to some impractical comic book ideal that I refused to take reasonable measures to ensure my own safety or the safety of people close to me.  In Los Angeles, no less, where the people I come across practically invented drive-bys… right?  Why wouldn’t you want a gun in a place like that?  As for training with guns, I’m confident that my level of pistol training compares favorably to the average mid-career cop.

What I think will happen when word gets around that “superheroes carry guns” (and wear body armor, and have practical training and tactics… and can electrify people with their feet… and hurl sonic grenades… and rip open car doors with robotic exoskeletons… and see in the dark… and “sense” when someone’s sneaking up behind them via a vibrotactile IR sensor array worn on the upper torso… etc etc)…

What I think will happen when word gets around about that stuff is the exact opposite of what happened when I patrolled through Oakland with a group that got snickered at and asked if it was cosplaying, more or less.  It has not been my experience that people react to potentially armed and dangerous groups of citizens with a “shoot on sight” policy.  Most people aren’t suicidal.

I don’t intend for ordinary people to fear me, nor do I think they will, either.  I have a concept I’m thinking out called (sort of a working title) “adaptive response.”  The idea is that you can tailor the signature of security guys to match environments and, therefore, provoke fear or not depending on the situation.  So if you just want to look all cool and Daft Punk-ish at an event, you do that, and nobody realizes on scene that you’re anything more than just eye candy.  On the other hand, if you want to appear intimidating as hell… you do that, too.

Here, check out this YT video about the so-called robot “Titan.”  (It’s a performer in a suit)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baGYnczzh1c  nobody’s scared of it, right?  Check out 0:43 in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25_G81hYklQ&feature=related Or just imagine more or less the same thing confronting you in the dark.  It’s not a perfect comparison, but that’s sort of the idea.

Also if I made a distinction between myself in and out of costume I’d probably go even more nuts.  I’m only ever not in costume when I’m working or taking a shower or something.  I always dress funny, basically.

And I don’t have any plans to be a party clown or a Punisher wannabe.  More like… eh… performance art and pro bono counterculture security work that I document and commercialize with Internet films?  I can’t really think of the perfect way to put it right at this exact second, but basically just having fun and doing practical applied cool transhuman things “in the field.”

I give pretty good odds that I won’t be able to do the things I want to do without divorcing myself from the RLSH community, but we’ll see.  No reason to rush into these things and maybe it will work out otherwise.

Finally calling the group/team/LLC “The Magnificent Bastards” isn’t a joke.  Well, it’s sort of a joke.  But then “I’m going to get atom symbols tattooed on my forearms” was also sort of a joke.  Check out pic two in my blog post with the same title as yours.

I just wish I could do it all right this second, but I can’t.  But in two years I can do it all and fail miserably at it and still be able to keep going with it thanks to a retirement check.  That’s basically the plan.  And as I’m trying to get people involved I’m, like I kinda said way earlier in this rant, willing to change around the details and make it something we all agree is a good idea, fun, and sustainable.  All that jazz.

Superheroes and Guns

                                                                     Shut up, crime!

                                               Yippi-kai-ay, Melon Farmer.

                                                                  What?

They're called "Gunchucks" and they're even cooler than a flying guillotine.  Be sure to blare the Banana Splits theme from your belt-mounted PA system during use for additional psychological effect.

And behold actual comic book evidence that superheroes are supposed to use guns -- dual wield them, in fact:

Thank you.  Have a nice day.

awesome rocket sword

Super Secret Headquarters Plans and Request for Advice

I would appreciate your help, input, advice, etc on something.

Objective: to live in a super fabulous, flamboyant, and way over the top secret headquarters/lair in or near the city of Los Angeles by the end of the year 2013.

Ideally this super fabulous, flamboyant, and way over the top secret headquarters/lair in or near the city of Los Angeles would include:

1.   An array of bleeping computers, reel-to-reel tape players, and other sophisticated machinery

2.   A really cool looking table with monogrammed seats for the folks who lived there and a gigantic map of the world covering most of the wall behind it.

3.   Tesla coil.

4.   Etc.  You basically know what a lair is if you’ve ever seen a James Bond movie or watched an episode of the Superfriends.

                                          Fig 1: Scale model of a Secret Headquarters/Lair, exterior

                                              Fig 2: Artist's Rendition of Hypothetical Lair Interior

                                    Fig 3: Scale Model of Hypothetical Command Center

What I’m confident I can do is find a big house, other people to share the rent with me, and set up shop with minimal (but noticeable) difficulty.

                                                 Fig 4: Miniature model of a Big House

But I'd really like to come up with something a little cooler, more ambitious, and more bizarre than that.

So I’m soliciting advice.

My favorite fantasy involves buying an abandoned offshore oil rig and converting it into a complex that would have stuff like a gym, kitchen, living space, etc and would be a place to live, a homeless shelter, maybe rent out practice areas to bands, low cost and very basic hotel type rooms for low income transients... a lot of stuff.http://www.designbuzz.com/entry/abandoned-oil-rigs-shaped-up-as-living-hub-with-underwater-research-labs/#

                                         Fig 5: Abandoned BP Oil Rig

Of course there’s the issue of everyone commuting to the lair by boat and having to lease a parking spot and wharf space…

My next favorite fantasy involves getting some land and turning it into a trailer park complex that's pretty much the same thing -- as it expands just add more mobile homes.  I like this because it’s sort of like what a military camp is initially set up like and it supports the notion of gradual growth and all that.  However, it also seems a little trashy, you know?  It’d be a trailer park, after all, and being able to simultaneously refer to it as a “gated community” wouldn’t help much.

    Fig 6: One Vision for an Economical Lair

And then there's all kinds of abandoned stuff like factories, warehouses, asylums, prisons, hospitals, etc, the idea being to combine a place to live, a business, and a non-profit all in one little complex run by whoever wanted to be involved.

Now the government will apparently provide financial assistance to people to start homeless shelters -- http://www.ehow.com/how_5530676_start-nonprofit-homeless-shelter.html

                                          Fig 7:  It's called "a dual-use facility," folks -- feed the
                                          homeless and the team/minions.

...and give grants to restore historic sites -- http://www.ehow.com/how_4519084_grants-restore-old-buildings.html

                                          Fig 8: Historic Fort Secret Headquarters

But I really have no idea how to do this stuff.

Help.

                                                       

(EDIT - Parts of this blog just keep disappearing for some reason.  It probably has to do with the government shutdown.  Anyway, I'm tired of trying to fix it.)

Shock Boots and an Unrelated Article

Perhaps it's a vanity thing, but one question I've always wanted a snappy answer to is "what's so super about you?"  Actually I've always wanted a bazillion answers and that's an ongoing project.  But anyway, here is one snappy answer -- I can shock people with my feet (as soon as the postal service delivers these things).

Light Configuration

Heavier Configuration (vaguely inspired by Neo's lobby boots in the Matrix)

Here is a video demonstration by my pal:

And in unrelated news, my former teammates Motor-Mouth and the rest of the NorCal Protectorate have been getting some press lately, besides the double page spread in People magazine:

http://thebolditalic.com/JustinJuul/stories/777-san-francisco-bay-guardians

What is a Hero?

Okie dokey.  I will finally tackle this subject.

I have faith that basically, deep down in the secret inner recesses of your human blood, you know exactly what a hero is and that your belief about it is probably about the same as mine.  Humans are simply hard-wired for these kinds of core concepts.  You can't escape millions of years of evolution (or 10,000 years of creationism) by reading a self help book, watching a chick flick, or listening to a few folk songs on your headphones.

The ideal of the hero is universal.  It transcends culture.  It's one of those things we automatically get.  Accordingly, the first known work of fiction featuring a hero (Gilgamesh) got it completely right.

Allow me to summarize the story for you briefly:

THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH

Gilgamesh is a great man by the standards of his society, which involve ordering people to build a ginormous wall, droit de seigneur, and other zaniness.  Society's standards.  Gilgamesh is bored.

Gilgamesh encounters an approximate equal, Enkidu, and they engage in the standard hero greeting (a fight) without recourse to any pseudo-justifications like "I mistook him for a supervillain."  Gilgamesh wins.

They go off on adventures.  Gilgamesh fights a bunch of monsters, does some amazing stuff, and challenges the gods.  The gods win, because they always do.

THE END

That's all you really need to know.

A hero is someone who refuses to be a victim, whether of his own psyche, the expectations of the world, bad circumstances whatever.

These days we seem to want to idolize victims, which is a huge mistake.  Christopher Reeves was not a hero because he ended up paralyzed and stuck in a wheel chair.  He was a hero because he became Superman against pretty tough odds AND THEN it just so happened that he suffered some tragedy and he, of course, dealt with it with the heroic spirit that he already had.  If all he'd done was be some schmuck who got paralyzed in a horseback riding accident, then you wouldn't even know his name.

Heroism is not uniquely a human trait.  The Honey Badger is a natural hero.  Watch this video and ask yourself whether you see any commonality with Gilgamesh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRjESEa4oH0&p=36F85A0188564880&playnext=1&index=56  In my book these guys are brothers.

Being a hero is also not about being depressed or depriving yourself.  It's not about how little fun you can manage to leave remaining in your miserable existence.  It's about being #$%&ING AWESOME.

If you're not a douche bag, then you'll probably also find yourself helping people directly and in little ways.  But it's also totally possible to be a complete douche bag and a hero simultaneously.

Consider a group like Delta Force.  It's full of guys that would eagerly storm the gates of hell and pull you out of some terrorists' stronghold given only 20 minutes notice and a rusty pocketknife.

Now consider human psychology and what motivates people to work hard and achieve skill at something.  How many of the members of Delta Force do you think got to be what they are because "Oh you know, I just want to help people"?

No, they were all like "I'm gonna be Chuck %$#&ING Norris when I grow up and it's gonna be #$%&ING AWESOME!!!!"  That's what motivated them.

They're heroes.  When they show up in the middle of World War III and say "Hi, we're here to rescue you" it's pretty ungrateful of you to ask whether they're doing it out of a deep seated love of humanity or because they think it's awesome fun to kill bad guys with a rusty pocketknife.

This impulse and universal recognition somewhere within us of what a hero REALLY is is why we try to turn sports stars into heroes.  Generally speaking they aren't, although they used to be earlier in our history.  The problem now is that sports are pretty mundane, they don't involve that aspect of "here I come to do the impossible," etc etc.  You might be interested in them, you might like them, but if some dudes play football down the street you're not going to run and tell your friends "HOLY %$#&!!!! Some guys are playing football down the street and it's %$#&ING AWESOME!!!!!"

(with a few exceptions -- roller derby still has "heroes" as well as certain exhibition sports like skateboarding)

So anyway. 

When a hero performs heroic acts several things happen.  One is that whatever problem is being addressed by the act itself is resolved.  For example, the hero kills the monster and so the town becomes safe.  But the hero himself has, generally speaking, only a token interest in the safety of the town.  He's probably a nice guy, he has the ability to slay monsters and other people don't have that ability, a monster happens to be there, so here he comes to save the day.

But you don't call the hero in because the town is in danger of having unsightly leaves all over the place, hand him a rake, and shout "PLEASE save us!!!!"

Another thing that happens when a hero performs heroic acts is he feels some kind of satisfaction, because he's a hero and that's what he does. 

Another thing that happens when heroes perform heroic acts is it inspires people to believe that the world can be awesome, life is more than TV and cheeseburgers, one man can make a difference, all that stuff.  But that's not usually -- or at least it doesn't have to be -- the hero's motivation.

Do you believe that the reason "Jet Pack Man" does what he does in this video has anything to do with you?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gcurwcPs3U

Although this is a minor point, but colloquially the word "hero" can be used pretty much interchangeably with "aspiring hero."  As long as you keep trying it's not really fair for people to fault you for not having finished your adventure yet.

And it's probably gonna have to be another post someday, but I'll throw in one last thing here -- honor itself is about selfishness.  It's about "I'll be damned if I'll live in a world where _____ is how things are.  $%#& THAT."

So...

yeah.