What is a Hero?

Okie dokey.  I will finally tackle this subject.

I have faith that basically, deep down in the secret inner recesses of your human blood, you know exactly what a hero is and that your belief about it is probably about the same as mine.  Humans are simply hard-wired for these kinds of core concepts.  You can't escape millions of years of evolution (or 10,000 years of creationism) by reading a self help book, watching a chick flick, or listening to a few folk songs on your headphones.

The ideal of the hero is universal.  It transcends culture.  It's one of those things we automatically get.  Accordingly, the first known work of fiction featuring a hero (Gilgamesh) got it completely right.

Allow me to summarize the story for you briefly:

THE EPIC OF GILGAMESH

Gilgamesh is a great man by the standards of his society, which involve ordering people to build a ginormous wall, droit de seigneur, and other zaniness.  Society's standards.  Gilgamesh is bored.

Gilgamesh encounters an approximate equal, Enkidu, and they engage in the standard hero greeting (a fight) without recourse to any pseudo-justifications like "I mistook him for a supervillain."  Gilgamesh wins.

They go off on adventures.  Gilgamesh fights a bunch of monsters, does some amazing stuff, and challenges the gods.  The gods win, because they always do.

THE END

That's all you really need to know.

A hero is someone who refuses to be a victim, whether of his own psyche, the expectations of the world, bad circumstances whatever.

These days we seem to want to idolize victims, which is a huge mistake.  Christopher Reeves was not a hero because he ended up paralyzed and stuck in a wheel chair.  He was a hero because he became Superman against pretty tough odds AND THEN it just so happened that he suffered some tragedy and he, of course, dealt with it with the heroic spirit that he already had.  If all he'd done was be some schmuck who got paralyzed in a horseback riding accident, then you wouldn't even know his name.

Heroism is not uniquely a human trait.  The Honey Badger is a natural hero.  Watch this video and ask yourself whether you see any commonality with Gilgamesh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRjESEa4oH0&p=36F85A0188564880&playnext=1&index=56  In my book these guys are brothers.

Being a hero is also not about being depressed or depriving yourself.  It's not about how little fun you can manage to leave remaining in your miserable existence.  It's about being #$%&ING AWESOME.

If you're not a douche bag, then you'll probably also find yourself helping people directly and in little ways.  But it's also totally possible to be a complete douche bag and a hero simultaneously.

Consider a group like Delta Force.  It's full of guys that would eagerly storm the gates of hell and pull you out of some terrorists' stronghold given only 20 minutes notice and a rusty pocketknife.

Now consider human psychology and what motivates people to work hard and achieve skill at something.  How many of the members of Delta Force do you think got to be what they are because "Oh you know, I just want to help people"?

No, they were all like "I'm gonna be Chuck %$#&ING Norris when I grow up and it's gonna be #$%&ING AWESOME!!!!"  That's what motivated them.

They're heroes.  When they show up in the middle of World War III and say "Hi, we're here to rescue you" it's pretty ungrateful of you to ask whether they're doing it out of a deep seated love of humanity or because they think it's awesome fun to kill bad guys with a rusty pocketknife.

This impulse and universal recognition somewhere within us of what a hero REALLY is is why we try to turn sports stars into heroes.  Generally speaking they aren't, although they used to be earlier in our history.  The problem now is that sports are pretty mundane, they don't involve that aspect of "here I come to do the impossible," etc etc.  You might be interested in them, you might like them, but if some dudes play football down the street you're not going to run and tell your friends "HOLY %$#&!!!! Some guys are playing football down the street and it's %$#&ING AWESOME!!!!!"

(with a few exceptions -- roller derby still has "heroes" as well as certain exhibition sports like skateboarding)

So anyway. 

When a hero performs heroic acts several things happen.  One is that whatever problem is being addressed by the act itself is resolved.  For example, the hero kills the monster and so the town becomes safe.  But the hero himself has, generally speaking, only a token interest in the safety of the town.  He's probably a nice guy, he has the ability to slay monsters and other people don't have that ability, a monster happens to be there, so here he comes to save the day.

But you don't call the hero in because the town is in danger of having unsightly leaves all over the place, hand him a rake, and shout "PLEASE save us!!!!"

Another thing that happens when a hero performs heroic acts is he feels some kind of satisfaction, because he's a hero and that's what he does. 

Another thing that happens when heroes perform heroic acts is it inspires people to believe that the world can be awesome, life is more than TV and cheeseburgers, one man can make a difference, all that stuff.  But that's not usually -- or at least it doesn't have to be -- the hero's motivation.

Do you believe that the reason "Jet Pack Man" does what he does in this video has anything to do with you?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gcurwcPs3U

Although this is a minor point, but colloquially the word "hero" can be used pretty much interchangeably with "aspiring hero."  As long as you keep trying it's not really fair for people to fault you for not having finished your adventure yet.

And it's probably gonna have to be another post someday, but I'll throw in one last thing here -- honor itself is about selfishness.  It's about "I'll be damned if I'll live in a world where _____ is how things are.  $%#& THAT."

So...

yeah.